March 2008
27 posts
Dear Ivy League Virgins: Did You Ever Think Maybe... →
Seriously, fuck that abstinence, self-control bullshit. But at the same time, fuck oxytocin. That shit will Fuck. You. Up. More than coke, in fact. (To continue with an ongoing theme of cocaine and parentheticals!)
“Well, isn’t it comforting to know that being miserable is still better...”
– Claire, Six Feet Under (Episode 12)
Inconsequential!
Relevant to absolutely nothing except my twirling mental tangents, I sometimes wish English was more like math and programming (egads!) in the sense that embedded parentheticals were totally excepted or even encouraged! Because really, I do love (over) using parentheticals, and sometimes a parenthetical just needs to be qualified with another. (I also like misused exclamations!)
Fancy!
I finally got tired enough of the boring default Tumblr theme, so I changed it! It has taken entirely long than it should have. But now it is pretty and green and springy and obnoxiously hip. It even has a super obnoxious picture of me! And though my hair hasn’t even remotely been that color for months, I justify using it because it, like, completely matches the layout. Or,...
Why is Vera Wang designing a mattress collection for Serta? What exactly about a mattress needs to be designed? The quilting? And really, why does it matter, when sheets are generally put over the mattress?
Sneakerology: Yup, My Nasty Chuck Taylors Can... →
I’ve been wearing mine since I stole them from my sister during my Junior year of high school (uhm, how the fuck was that four years ago?). They’re totally hideously torn and not even remotely appropriate footwear for Pittsburgh, as they leak something fierce. And yet, I wear them more than any other shoes. Also, I’ve totally scribbled song lyrics on them and blacked out the...
I have work to do. I do not want to do that work....
Me: I seriously think I might have thoroughly confused my facial hair.
Eugene: ?
Me: There are different patches of nearly every color I've dyed my hair.
Me: It's kind of freaking me out.
Eugene: hot pink?
Me: That's the one color that isn't represented.
Eugene: your facial hair is blond
Me: At least, I haven't found a hot pink patch yet.
Eugene: blond hair, under different lighting, looks different shades
Me: There are bits that are red. And some that are brown.
Me: I just spent ten minutes plucking individual hairs out and examining them.
Me: I shouldn't have told you that.
Me: How's work?
Sweet Darlin’ - She & Him It’s...
So, it turns out that I did actually buy a sewing machine, and it came yesterday. Now, because I am drunk, I am watching Absolutely Fabulous, clad in nothing but underwear, attempting to derive a pattern for a pair of pants. Currently, I have one leg constructed out of muslin that is very David Bowie-esque, as in…it shows everything. It probably goes without saying that I have absolutely no...
I usually try to get up by 8:30 and set my alarm (actual alarm, not the cell phone alarm, which I also set) for 7:45 so I can press the sleep button several times. This morning it turned it approximately two and a half hours before I finally turned it off and gave up on waking up before noon. However! During one of the many sprints to press the sleep button, I put all of my weight on my left leg,...
“The chickens are laying 900 eggs a week right now! And, yes, it is a problem,...”
– Martha Stewart’s 500th episode by Choire Sicha
Kanye West is so adorably lispy/empidiment-y AND gutteral on “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”!
Odd!
My shirt seems to be covered in fairy dust-like glitter. I do not recall encountering any today! Clearly, I must be naturally producing glitter now! And I will travel in a magical haze of cigarette smoke and glitter, spreading cynicism and aggrivatingly-irremovable sparkles! Hopefully I accidentally ran into some asbestos or something.
Ah! New Britney Spears video! I should not be this excited, and I should not be saving it for after a cigarette as some sort of bizarre way to make my day better.
“Are you, like, a movie star or something? … You have a movie star look.”
– Dude at Taco Bell drive-thru at 1:02 AM this morning So entirely the last thing I was expecting to hear, especially after entirely spazzing completely out while ordering. But, yay? (Also, I was totally wearing my Doctor Who scarf. Not dorky! Movie star-esque!) Also also? I think I might have...
Pre-emptive (And Back-dated!) Excuses!
So, there will be totally random and badly grammar-ed shit here today! (Which…not different than any other time, but in greater frequency!) I have slept 20 hours since Friday and have at this point have already consumed 320 mg of caffeine in various forms (such as Vivarin chased by energy drinks! Healthy, yay!). And I am at work, suffering from absolute boredom (and M.I.A. or maybe...
“But it’s so perfect this way…it’s so perfect. The only way...”
– Brenda, Six Feet Under
“What is this, some kind of Quaker thing? You fuck someone’s husband to...”
– Brenda, Six Feet Under
This dude go front of
This dude in front of me has insanely shiney fingernails. Like, polished shiney. Like, they’re kind of blinding me shiney.
We've spent the past hour looking up local sex...
Phoebe: we shouldnt be trading sex offenders like baseball cards at 6 AM.
Cory: Haha, WE SHOULD MAKE TRADING CARDS.
Phoebe: these things are like, ALREADY trading cards.
Phoebe: you can file them by alises or offenses or scars/marks/tattoos
Mark Ronson and Élodie Bouchez in GQ →
Phoebe mentioned them, I found them, and a link was more than necessary.